An Addicts Worst Enemy For Getting Stuck In Addiction – Lying To Ourselves

Greg:                    What’s going on, everyone? Matt and Greg here, Project Unbroken. Subscribe below. So, today, we’re going to be talking about why we believe that many addicts can’t get sober, especially with heroin and opiates. But really, I think this goes across the board. So, for me I think it’s that we lie to ourselves.

You know, I take myself back to, especially when me and Matt were together. And we’d be like, you know, “This is going to be our last time, we’re just going to go get our last bags here. This time, let’s get double the amount, ’cause this is our last time.” Right? We would use, we would fall right back in the cycle.

Or, you’re high. You know, you’re feeling good and you’re like, “I’m done with this shit, man. I’m done. I’m not using anymore.” Yeah, of course you’re motivated to quit ’cause you’re high and you’re feeling good, and then all the endorphins wear off and you start feeling like shit, and it doesn’t sound like such a good idea anymore, right?

And then you go back to, well, let’s just go do it one more time. And that’d be it. You know, so, I think it’s a constant repeating cycle. And then even when you do quit for a little bit, maybe a few days or a week, you know, we’ve made a video on withdrawal and how it lasts, like the initial phase sucks, but then the mental stuff lasts a long time. So you get four or five, six days in, a lot of the physical stuff’s out the window but your head’s not there yet. So, you start tricking yourself again, where you’re like, okay, well I’ve been off for a week, I can control this. Let me go just do it one more time. And then, bam! You’re right back into every single day.

So, for me, I think it’s just that we lie to ourselves, and we just keep putting ourselves through that cycle.

Matt:                    Yeah, I agree, and I think that’s just human nature in general. A lot of times, whether it’s somebody’s trying to quit smoking cigarettes, or they’re trying to eat healthier and not eat so much junk or whatever, or they’re trying to quit heroin, you’ll always lie to yourself to give yourself a little bit of an out. The only difference is with heroin, you can die. You know, like that instant.

So, especially when you have somebody that you know, Greg mentioned, somebody’s been off, for a little while and they’re like, all right, well I kind of have a handle on this thing. And something comes up, whether it’s a stressful situation, or whatever might cause that person to relapse, that next time can be the last time.

And because they think I didn’t so anything for a week, or whatever, like maybe I can just manage this, I think deep down, we know that’s not the case. And we would constantly lie to ourselves about you know, and I think because Greg and I were semi functional … we were like, okay, we kind of got it together, I think we can manage this thing. And it just, you know, slowly revealed itself to be way more powerful than we were.

But, even after we saw that, we would continue to kind of make excuses or find loopholes, or whatever to find an excuse to use.

Greg:                    Yeah, so if you’re an addict, and you do that, start trying to be honest with yourself. I mean, what are you really doing there, right? Again, you know, you’re tricking yourself. I think you know deep down what you’re doing, but you just don’t want to go through the pain. You know, you get to any situation where there’s pain involved, and you’re like all right, just … you trick yourself, I’m just going to do this one more time, and that’s it.

But what are you really doing? You’re trying to escape the current pain that you’re in. But guess what? You’re just going to have to go through it again, so you might as well just stop right now. Might as well just be it. You know, not one more time, not okay, this is it. It’s got to be right now, because you’re going to feel like this again, and then you’re going to trick yourself again, you’re going to fall right back into addiction.

Matt:                    I remember specific instances where I would be a few days clean, and I would be like, uh, well I got to go to this interview or this thing. So, I should get high, so I don’t seem like I’m depressed, or whatever. And then, I’d get high and screw myself up even worse than I was in the first place, instead of just kind of biting the bullet and being like, you know you’re going to have to learn how to deal with these things sober either way.

It’s just, there’s always going to be an excuse, or something that comes up where you’re like I should probably you know, get high, so I kind of come back down to baseline for this, whatever. And it’s always going to set you back a hundred yards. You’re going to be back to square one real quick.

Greg:                    Even a side note, I think it can actually be really dangerous, especially with heroin, and all the Fentanyl and Carfentanil that’s around, because, you don’t use for maybe a week or so, and your tolerance isn’t as high, then you go back, you’re like well, I can do this again. Then you use what you used to, and you overdose. So-

Matt:                    Yeah, your tolerance is completely off, that’s where a lot of OD’s stem from, is that situation.

Greg:                    And I also think a lot of people end up getting worse when they do that, you know, they come back and they’re even worse in their addiction. They get out for a little bit, come back even worse again. So, I mean, it’s really dangerous and you got to be truthful with yourself and realize what you’re doing.

You’re just trying to escape the situation, but you’re not going to escape it. In order to escape it, you have to start going through it. In order to go through it, you can’t just do one more time. It can’t just be, this is it, I’m going to quit, one last time I’m going to use, it has to be right now.

Matt:                    Yep. Yeah, you can’t let it be an option in your life any longer. No matter what comes up, you have to understand, obstacles, roadblocks, whatever, you’re going to have to get through that, without the help of your former crutch. Whatever your addiction was. So-

Greg:                    All right, hope you all enjoyed this video. Subscribe below, comment and let us know what you think, and we’ll see you all in the next one.

Matt:                    See you guys.


In Category: Addiction

Greg Morrison

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