Matt: What’s up everybody? This is Matt and Greg with Project Unbroken. And today, we wanted to talk a little bit about what may have gotten us out of our addiction earlier, may have broken that habit. Is there anything that you can think of … What’s something that you think would have set you on the path to recovery maybe a little bit sooner than you got on it?
Greg: I think if I got caught using, it would have sped up my recovery a ton. Whether I got arrested with it, or whether my parents caught me, whatever the case, I think that would have sped it up a lot quicker. I know with you, one of the times, you got caught where it was like, “We know it was you.”
Greg: And from that point, you kind of made that decision, like, “All right, this is it.” Like, “I got to … ” The accountability is there, you got put your cards on the table and move forward. So I know for me, I think that if I got caught, because I hid it really well, or if I got arrested or something, it would have definitely sped it up.
So, I think that’s an important tip, because parents, you really want to take a close look at your child if you see any type of warning signs or anything like that, look into them, because the sooner you catch them, and I know you don’t want to catch them. I get it. I have a child, I would not want to catch them using, and I’d probably trick myself to not catch him. But the quicker you catch him, the quicker they’re likely going to start moving through to recovery.
Matt: Yeah, absolutely. We were … and I don’t want to say lucky, but for a while, we never got in any legal trouble with heroin or pills, for that matter.
Greg: I don’t know how.
Matt: Yeah. I don’t how either. And, I know for a fact if we did get … And again, I got caught by basically my family and after that, it was like, “Well, I got get out of this now.” That’s a great point. If we were arrested or something like that happened, that cycle would have started a lot earlier.
And I think if you are a parent or you’re worried about your child maybe having some substance-abuse issues or if you’re concerned about a loved one having some substance-abuse issues, a lot of times you have to go with your gut. As Greg just mentioned, we don’t really want to see the bad sides of our loved ones. We don’t want to think that they’re struggling with stuff like this. That’s not the person that we have in our minds.
But we’ve talked a lot before about how addicts can really become great actors and manipulators and they can tell you what you want to hear and they know what you want to think, and a lot of times you have to go with your gut on stuff like that. If you think there might be something going on, you’re doing them a favor by calling them out and maybe throwing a drug test at them, just seeing what’s what. If you think there’s something going on, there’s a reason you’re thinking that. I would really recommend going with that feeling.
Greg: And one of the other big things for me was when things started getting more difficult. And this tip can go all types of different directions, though in making things more difficult for addicts different ways. Because we’re all different. For some people, getting caught isn’t enough. If they get caught, they don’t give a shit. They’re going to keep using.
For us, it might have helped speed up a lot. But I know for me, one, another big thing is when things started to get difficult. I lost my best friend. Matt decided to quit, and I didn’t have him in my life anymore, and my life got a little more difficult. Maybe I lose one of my main heroin connections. Well, now I can’t get in as often, so I’m withdrawing more. It’s getting more difficult. So, everything little thing.
And, I was doing well with business at the beginning of my addiction, made a bunch of money. Went through it quickly. Then, I had less means to getting money, less means to getting heroin. Now it’s getting more difficult. So, I think it got to a point for me where things got too difficult and it just wasn’t worth it anymore. I’m withdrawing way too often. I’m like, “Forget this shit.” Like, “I’m done with this. It’s not fun at all anymore. It’s just a struggle to keep up.” And that’s kind of what really helped me was when things got really difficult.
Matt: And it does. I mean, they talk a lot about, in rehab or whatever, your life just quickly becomes unmanageable and you just have a threshold of … Excuse me. What can you put up with before you realize like, “This is not worth it”?
Matt: And there’s definitely some things you can probably put in place if .. Again, if you have somebody in your life that’s struggling with this, don’t make it easier on them. We knew plenty of people that their support system was paying for their car or keeping them in a job that was giving the money to use drugs. Sometimes you have to pull some stuff away. Everybody has a different method of if it’s tough love or support or whatever you’re doing.
It’s a fine line to walk and I don’t think there’s a right … Or, there’s not a perfect situation for every relationship when it comes to support system and drug addict and how you want to bridge that gap. But you want to make sure that you’re not completely enabling them to keep their habit up, or at least in a way that it makes their life just that much easier.
Greg: I agree. That’s a really good point and it’s a really fine line, because people are different. Doing different things with different people is going to cause different situations, but for sure one thing you got to be aware of is if you’re making it easy on them, they’re going to continue using it. It increases the chance that they’re going to continue using. But, at the same time, there’s a lot of parents out there that just can’t kick their kids to the curb, because that could end disastrous too.
Greg: But there’s a fine line there and you got to be aware that if you’re giving them way too much, you’re making things way too easy, then it’s just going to likely fuel their addiction and allow … They’re going to associate easy with addiction. Kind of the harder it gets, the more they’re going to associate not fun with addiction.
Matt: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And, again, that kind of is going to go to each … Excuse me … individual basis. You have to kind of play that on your knowledge of the situation. I know, from mine, having a support system was huge for me, but it was also, as soon as my support system found out that there was an issue with heroin, they made it clear, that’s not acceptable. They were like, “We’re support you. We’ll help you in any way you need, but you absolutely cannot keep this up.”
So, just listen to your gut, listen to your instincts about what’s going on and just try your best to navigate that situation in a way that’s going to be positive all around, where you don’t want to enable somebody too much, but you also might want to help them with the support they need to find help, to stay on track and maybe provide a little bit of accountability. And every situation’s going to be different. Listen to your instincts.
Greg: I think that was a perfect way to put it, Matt. All right. So hope you guys enjoyed this video. Hopefully it helps you kind of speed up the recovery process for yourself or any type of loved one. If you have more questions for us, let us know and we’ll answer them and we’ll see you all soon.
Matt: See you guys.