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How Bad Days Can Fuel Addiction

Greg:                     All right, what’s going on, guys? It’s Greg here. Today we’re going to be talking about bad days. I got a drink here and a couple drinks, if you see me drinking. I’m in a rush today, but I woke up in a bad mood today. It reminded me of back in my days of heroin addiction when I would wake up in a bad day. I was maybe on Suboxone at the time, and I’d be a few days clean, or maybe a week clean, whatever the case is. I’d wake up in a bad mood, and I’d be like, “Fuck this. I’ve been clean for a few days, or I’ve been clean for a week,” whatever the case is. I’m just going to use today. I don’t feel good, so I’m going to use. That’s something that would constantly keep in my addiction, is bad days.

Greg:                     Since I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, I wanted to explain a little bit about that, and then also how I myself today got out of my bad mood and how I do it other days. Today I worked out, but I’ll talk a little bit about that because it’s not always working out. It’s not going to be working out for everyone. I’m in my office today. Hopefully, you guys like my new set up. I got some of my favorite sayings here. It goes with today’s video. Make shit happen, stay humble, hustle hard. Then my favorite one up here, don’t be a dick. Just don’t be a dick. Be nice to people. That’s a good way to start with recovery. Don’t be a fucking dick, you know what I mean? That will do wonders for you, if you’re just nice to people, and you treat people well. It will really do well for you.

Greg:                     Anyways, let’s go back to bad days. I think as heroin addicts, especially, I mean, drug addicts in general, but especially with heroin addicts. We’re so used to feeling good all the time. Our dopamine is constantly being flooded. We take our heroin, we feel great. It doesn’t even matter if our life is shitty, which usually it is. If it’s not in the beginning, it eventually becomes shitty because that’s what heroin does to you. Even though our life is shitty, maybe we’re losing tons of things. We lost jobs, maybe possessions. Some people may be even living on the streets. When you’re high, it really doesn’t matter. Your life can be horrible, but when you get high you feel all right. Usually, you actually feel good. With opiates, and heroin, it’s like it doesn’t wear off really until you start withdrawing, and then you just use again. It’s a repeating cycle.

Greg:                     I think as heroin addicts, or opiate addicts, especially for us, bad days are foreign to us. Now it’s not that we don’t have bad days in our addiction. Of course we do, but it’s immediately fixed as soon as we find our fix, as soon as we get our fix. When it comes to life when you start getting clean, and you find that there’s not necessarily always that immediate fix where it’s like the snap of a finger, you’re not used to it. It’s hard to deal with for a lot of people. I think bad days, or a bad day, is something that keeps a lot of people in the addiction because they’re not used to it. They’re so used to an addiction, or I’m sorry, a bad day just being fixed like that. When you’re so used to that, and you don’t know where to find that in normal life, then it’s easy to make an excuse and say, at least speaking from my experience, “I haven’t used in a few days, or I’ve been good. I’m just going to use this once.” Then the next day it’s, “I used yesterday. Let me just finish off this week of using. I’ll start next week.” We constantly make excuses for ourselves.

Greg:                     I know that me, myself, a bad day a lot of the time is what put me right back in my addiction. I’d have a bad day, I didn’t want to deal with it. I knew that using would make me feel better, so I used, and then guess what? I was right back in my fucking addiction all over constantly making excuses. I’ll start next week. I have an event this weekend. I already used on Thursday, so I might as well just use this weekend. Monday I’ll start over. It would constantly repeat, right? Bad days, how do you deal with them?

Greg:                     I’m going to talk about my morning. This isn’t going to go for everyone quite yet, but everyone can get there. This morning I woke up. It was like 7:45, and I have a lot to do today, which is why I’m going to be drinking this in front of you, sorry, while I’m talking to you. I wanted to get stuff done. I planned on getting up at 7:00, I got up at 7:45. I had an hour workout I had to do, and I was like, “Fuck, I’m going to be rushing through this. I got all this work to do. I wanted to go to Jiu-Jitsu. My plan was messed up. I tossed and turned last night, so I didn’t get the best sleep. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but what I did is I just got up. A lot of people may not be here yet, but they can get to this level. I got up without even thinking. I got my clothes on. I got my coffee. I drove to the gym, and I worked out. Guess what? Now I feel better.

Greg:                     I know a lot of you are like, “I don’t work out. I don’t want to work out. I’m not there yet.” That’s fine because there’s other days where I may off from working out, and I do other things. Maybe I’ll sit and think about how lucky I am. I was talking to someone about this yesterday. They were like, “You have your own business. You’re doing well with money. Your health is good. I’m not there.” I said, “I fucking wasn’t either five years ago. I started there too, but you’re still lucky for a lot of things. You still have things that you’re very fortunate for.” There’s people in third world countries that don’t have clean water. There’s people who don’t have arms, don’t have legs, can’t walk, can’t see, can’t hear, and we’re fucking complaining because we’re having a bad day. You know what I mean?

Greg:                     Whenever I’m having a bad day, and it’s maybe not … because working out for me is just a great release. If I don’t have a workout that day, then one of the things I do is sit and think about the things I’m fortunate for. Again, when I was talking to this person the other day. They said, “I have a lot more things than they do.” I worked for it. I used to get up at 3:30 in the morning, and sleep, and go to a job at 4:00 am till noon. Then I would come home and work the whole rest of the day. I put in that work. I worked towards what I have now, but the whole point is when I had a bad day I tried not to keep getting down on myself and letting that ruin me. I thought about the positive things instead of focusing on the negative. Instead of just using it as a reason to give up, I used as a reason to move forward.

Greg:                     Just make sure when you have a bad day that you don’t use it as an excuse because I know when I was in my addiction, that’s probably one of the biggest things that kept me in the addiction, was that excuse of I don’t feel good today, so I’m just going to use today. Then tomorrow I’ll restart, but it’s going to happen again. You’re going to have bad days, and that’s life. That’s life. There’s going to be times when you don’t feel right. Even now, I’m extremely happy overall, but I have my days when I wake up, and I don’t fucking feel good. Yeah, it is the truth. It’s definitely the truth. I have my days when I wake up, and I don’t feel good, and I have everything. I have my own business. I do what I want when I want. I’m on my own schedule. Like this morning, I woke up, I worked out. I’m going to do a half hour work. I’m going to go to Jiu-Jitsu. I’m going to come home, I’m going to work a little bit. I’m going to hang out with my wife. I might see my son later. I do what I want when I want, but I still have bad days because that’s life.

Greg:                     No matter what you have, the most famous people in the world, or the poorest people in the world, they have all bad days. Everyone has days that aren’t good. Everyone is going to wake up on the wrong side of the bed some days. You got to work on getting used to that, and then finding things that get you through that. I know for me it’s working out. For a lot of you, even if you’re not there, just try some type of physical activity. It doesn’t have to be the hour workout that I did today nonstop that was excruciating, but maybe go for a walk. Maybe try jogging. If you got to stop, stop, walk, jog again. Try doing 20 push-ups, anything because that gets your positive endorphins flowing.

Greg:                     Again, we’re trying to do more of these. Someone said, “Swimming saved my life this summer.” That’s awesome, swimming, anything, any type of physical activity. I know my mom plays a game called Pickle Ball. She’s 62, 63 years old, and she’s out playing Pickle Ball three times a night. I still don’t know what it is, totally, but I guess it’s like a tennis game, but a smaller version. It gets her going, it gets her moving. Any type of physical activity you can find, just try because it really gets your mind right. Again, I felt like shit this morning. As soon as I got done working out, I felt great. I feel good now, and that’s not always the case. Sometimes I’ll work out and even that doesn’t fix it, and I have to get through my day, but it is what it is.

Greg:                     Again, I got a lot to do today. I got to finish eating. I’m going to go to Jiu-Jitsu today, and then come home and work. I just wanted to speak on this topic. Again, we’re trying to do more of these live videos. If you like them, let us know. We’ll keep them coming. If not, we’ll go back to the old style. We’ll still shoot old style as well, but I wanted to shoot on bad days today. I’m going to get out of here. I’ll see you all soon.

 

In Category: Addiction

Greg Morrison

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